DONE!

Donedonedonedonedonedonedone.

Well, at least for a while.

I Can See The Finish Line

I hope I still want it once I'm there.  All I could think about for the past two and a half years is graduating, and now that it's almost here, I'ma little sad.  It's really easy to bitch about how hard life is when you're shut away from the real world.
Hmm.  Think I might like to stay shut away than engage it in all of its terribleness.
Life goes on!

My show is printed- nine pieces, each 40x58 inches.   I know how I'm going to display the damn things without mounting them, because in the end, everything regarding this show has been a compromise. The prints are twice as large as I originally planned.  Sounds awesome, until you realize how that extra 50% is really busting the digital negative's balls.  Personally, I think that from 10 feet away or further, the prints look terrific, but up close, there is no fooling anybody with a 35mm dSLR image.   I did not want to make them bigger, but I was reminded how dwarfed they'd look in the provided gallery. So, I tried to find another gallery.  I did, too, and the even liked my work! They even had an opening!  They complemented me on my content and then proceeded to explain their desire to show only 3D work for said available slot.
 Seriously.  The upside is that now I don't have to use their $10/plate catering service.
That would've been muy malo.
Regarding the large-format prints, something on that scale cannot be framed realistically so options become limited, even more so if you are on a budget. I can't take someone else's carefree attitude regarding my show and the "screw it, spend the money anyway" perspective  Sometimes you just cannot be flexible. You go and take out a credit card in your name for me, OK?  No? No shit really? Uh huh.
So, I could've spray mounted the prints to foam core, and without going to great lengths, neither of those options are archival and I wasn't about to waste $___ on prints that could only be used once. Let's face it, no other gallery in the near future is going to want to display all nine prints at once, and I want to be able to take my work after the fact, roll it up and stash it in a tube so that it won't get destroyed.  So, I'm using ACIENT PRINTMAKER SECRET to hang my work.  And please, let's have none of that bleeding-heart optimism, "No, but Carrie!  Your work is beautiful!  SOMEONE will want your foamcore-mounted crap, I'm sure of it!"  Excuse me, are we not living on the same plane of existence? While you're off in the outskirts of Lalaland, I'm living in the middle Pragmatic Reality.
No self-respecting gallery is going to scoop of the entirety of someone's MFA show in a matter of months.  Just doesn't work like that, son.
Unless....

Any gallery/curator/patron/schoolmarm/drunk want to prove me wrong? You know you need a gigantamous color print of a humongoid pink worm bursting out of a television set in your exhibition space/dining room/garage/outhouse!
Who the hell wouldn't?

C'mon.  Collect me already!  You know you want to.

: )

Aauugghh!

Once again, sorry to be such a negative Nelly, but reality sucks!  Paying for and attending the College Art Association's annual convention buoyed my spirits on the hope that I'd get "some interview", but after arriving and attending, then searching a list of online participants,  I come to find out that all the colleges that I applied to that said they would be there, were not.
I know that one school had to back out due to infinite delays caused by inclement weather. The other ones- who knows- budget cuts maybe. It's hard to see the silver lining on this black cloud.
I had one glimmer of hope.  I found a faculty member from my school.  As we sat down to lunch for a minute, she said, "Gimme what you got.  Pretend I'm an interviewer."  I ran through my spiel, complete with portfolio images. She said, "Well, I'd hire you!  You sound like you know what you're talking about, and you didn't fidget.  That's a big plus!"

Shit man, sometimes you just gotta laugh.

Anybody need a maid?  Gardener?  Cook?  Dog walker? Wall paper hanger?
I've got qualifications out the wazoo!

Now What...

     am I going to do?  I like/d my work. I can't re-make any of my sculptures.  They are what they are. They signify my total sum experience and and creativity in sculpture. If they are truly "bad", it is because  I really do not have an accumulated expertise with my media.  Again I say, two and a half years is not enough time to master one's field.  My thesis show represents only where I am THIS MOMENT, not all I will ever be.
     I started this project in November and have really tried to make a concerted effort regarding a cohesive body of work.  I just don't have any more time. I had to use Photoshop to create some imagery. I know it looks fake.  That really wasn't a quality I intended to exploit.  As it turns out, I tend to get stuck in the mud when I try to shoot in the winter, literally.  Also, my productivity is fairly limited outside when it is below 40 degrees. I fucking tried. I did reshoots, even. This is what I have.  This is all I have.  I'm sorry if I let you down.  Just let me graduate and you'll never have to see me again, ok?

Um, Awesome!

I was doing some research last night and came across this image of red blood cells in  a vein.  I made a photograph that looks just like it without even trying!

I don't wanna.

I don't know how much more I can do this.  I'm really, really burned out.
As of this moment, I have a syllabus to create for a class I've never taught to be overnighted with a new job packet tomorrow morning, my prelim. thesis to finish before tomorrow morning, 20 packets to prepare for CAA for next week, and an entire wall of art to make and frame by Feb. 27th.
All I can do is just sit here and cry...and type...

Anybody Want a Kiss?

Four weeks until my show, four days until my last committee meeting until my show, five days until I waste a week of time at CAA, whoring myself for a jobby-job and I got a nice, fat cold sore of stress!
I look like a groupie from Spinal Tap!
You know you want me.